A scar, whether emotional or physical, is a sign of incomplete healing.

The emotional scars of relationships, childhood, friendships, envy, self-destruction, parents, anxiety, death, embarrassing moments or any other trauma internally left suppressed is critically related to your acceptance of love of others and yourself.  It also prohibits forgiveness of yourself.

The physical scars are most seen by others.  They hurt differently.  Some of these scars are caused by rape, abuse (as a child or/and adult), or more daunting physical trauma. 

Many people live in the moment of their scars instead of fighting through them.  Its power binds you until the burden is released.  Basically, you must learn from it and move forward.  I get it, some or worse than others.  Don’t start cursing me out over my words just yet.  We are all unique and our strengths vary in weak to powerful.  I believe that all experiences in life are meant to teach you something and you are meant to grow from them.  If not, it will deplete you of your self-worth and self-being. 

Those unseen scars affect everything in your life.  They are easy to hide from others, but most prominent to overcome.  

What are your scars? 

Are you dealing in an effective way?

I challenge you to write them down, both physical and mental.  Your job is to work through them.  Begin your road to letting go and never reopening your wound negatively. 

Build a platform and share your story with someone. 

Emotional scars run deep with me.

* I have always been a “grudge holder”.  True story, many of those in my family are.  It is so sad to me.  I have come to realize this in the recent years, about myself and others.  It is something that I am/was riding the struggle bus with.  It takes a lot for me to let things go and realize that the person that is winning (so to speak) is the other person.  You have no fight in some actions of others.  Learning to let it go is the biggest, most grown up feeling a person can have.  My boundaries run deep.  I set so many now and for me, it works.  I say no, a lot.  I don’t call or return text that get in my feels and I know will be negative on my soul.  Surrounding myself with positive, upbeat, loving, energized people is where my stance is.  I do not feel guilty about separation.  I told someone the other day that I have my “one on one friends” and then my “group friends”.  There is a big difference.  I love all but for my well-being, it’s just best this way. 

* Relationships have gone wrong.  As most, I’ve had bad break ups as a young adult.  You know the ones that you thought you could never live without that person and miraculously, you do.  I was divorced after 9 months of a failed marriage that should have never happened.  I’ve had heart wrenching deaths of friends, and close family.  I’ve lost the best of friends over stupid misunderstandings.  My relationship with my father was on the rocks for a very long time but repaired with much communication and forgiveness.   Embarrassing situations haunt me.  It is awful being the person being judged, talked about, slandered, and characterized by false truths.  The lessons were hard, but I wouldn’t change them for the person I have become.

*Struggles with bulimia has left a deep pit of my physical appearance and how I deal with it daily.  What I see is not what others do and as many know, you just smile and say thank you.  Shoulders back, head held high is my motto.  Some days, I’d really like to shove cupcakes down my throat and then throw them up.  I deal accordingly and I do not.  The person in my mirror is distorted for sure. 

Physical scars run just as deep on my body.

*I have one on my right arm from a tumor removed in the 9th grade.

*I have one near my rib cage from a hernia.

*I have 3 on my shins from box jumps.

*My most embarrassing… the one that haunts me… the ugliest, most disgusting scar I have ever seen in my life has been a part of me for 44 years.  I am really good at hiding it.  It is about 6 inches long and runs down my lower abdominal up my belly button.  I HATE IT.  As hard as I work out, I can’t overcome it.  Writing about it, makes me cry.  

I was 24 months old and my appendix ruptured.  It apparently was not my parents’ time to lose a child, because somehow, I survived.   That scar had to have been the length of my little body back then.  Today, it is still huge.  Fast forward 35 years later, I had to have a c-section with my twins.  Dr. Moran tells me that he will be going through that same scar so that I wouldn’t have two.  Thank God for those words, I don’t think I could have handled another.  As a matter of fact, I know not.   As that same scar was beginning to heal, my peace of mind with my body was horrific.  The scar that has haunted me my whole life was now reopened and exposed again.  UGHHHHHH! 

Fast forward 10 years from then, I went to The Wall Center to have a breast lift and augmentation.  I also asked them what it would take to remove the scar.  What a crazy decision that was!  Holly Wall went over every case scenario of how she could make it better.  It was a lot to process.  I decided to leave it.  It was not an easy decision.  In the end, it has made me.  It shows me I was given another chance at life.  It was a scar from two beautiful children.  It is my scar.  The one that keeps me from being confident of that portion of who I am.  It draws character and it is me.

Sharing this, I felt maybe someone needs to hear it.  We are ashamed of so many things we are or have or been subject to instead of embracing it.  Overcoming scars, both mentally and physically, are great barriers to becoming a stronger more beautiful you. 

I am transparent so that I can help someone else.  These pictures were taken by Nikki Bardwell.  She captured everything I wanted in this.  The struggle, the embarrassment, the courage and the will to pull up my shirt.

To your scars, I pray for peace and the acceptance to conquer your fears.  It only builds a better base for your heart.


Stay Strong, Mitzi

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