Fear – This is people’s do or don’t word in life. Fear is a safety net in your world, like a security blanket. As long as you live in fear of the unknown, you will not change but choose to stay the same.
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt
But I’m scared! But it makes me nervous! But I can’t! How many times have you said this? The fear of failure is what stops us! That is our #1 fear… Failure.
We are horrified to fail as a spouse, a parent, an employee, a friend, or a volunteer. These are all things that directly affect other people. These things are the fears of letting others down. One person being pulled in all directions trying to please all circles of their being. This type of fear is what I like to call people pleasers.
I don’t believe in failure. It is a stepping stone to your fate. There are set backs in life but not trying is actually your failure.
My fear is gaining weight.
Yep, I said it.
The scales own me every day. Do I know it is wrong? Yes! Would I ever tell any of you to give a damn what a scale says? No. It scares the shit out of me. For so long, I was up and down with my weight. It is now under control but I’m a little obsessed with making sure it doesn’t creep back up. Being a personal trainer, you have to look the part. Who wants a trainer that doesn’t put in the work, walk the walk, or talk the talk? It is important to me. There is a pound range I allow myself for the scales, depending on time of month, too much sodium, that splurge weekend, or whatever. Stay between the beacon. I work my ass off to stay there. It is no easy task for me by any means. I love to sweat and I’m really good at it. Sweating with swagger is the name of the game. This is not a healthy fear but it is mine and it is real. The boxing gloves go on every time I turn that little square digital machine on. It can make or break my mood, my wardrobe, my self-worth, and my confidence. I allow that. Boy, is that shameful? It’s my fight. It will not defeat me.
I also fear waking up one day and not wanting to run or workout. Those days happen for me too, believe it or not. Those are the days I make sure it gets done. One day could turn in to two and so on, don’t ever let it be today!
What is your fear?
Will you face it?
How will you conquer it?
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I will try again tomorrow.” Lion, Wizard of Oz
You’re a coward. You let crap beat you down and you don’t fight to get up. You use this in employment, marriages, friendships, children, health and fitness, etc.
Employment – You hate your job. Change it! Don’t’ be afraid of doing something you love.
Marriage – You feel alone, co-existing under one roof. You constantly feel as though you don’t belong. You’ve been beaten, kicked, belittled enough that you don’t know how to stand up for yourself. Find you, and find some happy. Don’t be afraid to seek help, share with a friend, seek higher ground or learn to communicate with your significant other. Talk it out is the best advice I can give.
Friendships – Stop being rattled by the chains of others. Search your friend circle. I promise you half of them are so self-absorbed they don’t give two shits about you. Your life will go on and you’ll be better without them. Trust me on this one.
Parenting – You cannot parent from the couch. GET OFF YOUR ASS. You must be involved with your children, not afraid to piss them off. You children are not your friend. There may be a time in life when they can be, but now is the time to rear them not treat them as an equal. Exactly what are you fears with them? The fact that they get mad at you, throw a fit, slam the door, roll their eyes, disagree… The last time I checked I own this house. They are renting space. My rules, they learn a little word called respect.
Health and Fitness – Intimidation is the word not fear. To take that first step, getting out the door, or cleaning out that pantry is huge. We are in a world that is so innovative in the fitness world. There should be no excuses. Your options are limitless. Good nutrition is a click away. There are so many websites that not only let you choose your dietary option, and recipes but will also make your grocery list as well. Check out www.realplans.com. People, these two words are like a life insurance policy. I tell my clients this. You are paying to prolong your life. It’s worth it. Another word I could possibly use is lazy. We want others to do it for us. I will be glad to do it for you, but I can only start you. Take a moment to look at your day. How often are you just sitting, playing on social media, or a game on your phone? Use that 10-15-20 minutes to move. You can walk the parking lot, climb the stairwell, do lunges down the hall with pushups and squats. Will people think your nuts? Yes, WHO CARES! They should join you and maybe one day they will… Congrats, you’ve just changed a life. I can get creative if you need me to, just ask! I will travel, for real. Get a group of friends together and I’ll be glad to come over. I drink Chardonnay and love a great wine glass. Cleaning out those pantries and refrigerators when you aren’t even sure about what is good or bad for you can be overwhelming. Grocery shopping for “healthy foods” is tricky if you don’t understand labels, ingredients, or basic shopping rule of thumb.
Stop fearing and start being curious. ASK! We don’t seem to fear what happens when we over eat or over drink. What people fear is giving up feeling empowered by the taste and the feeling that food gives them. It should be completely opposite. Learn to love you again. I promise it takes the place of all the above. Finding your best self is the key to joy.
“You gotta get it right, while you got the time, cause when you close your heart, then you close your mind.” Michael Jackson
Look, I wish I could tell you what to do but until you decide that you can, you won’t. It seems impossible until you just do it.
MAKE THAT CHANGE