Strong Mind

How do you begin to wrap your head around those two words? That mind of ours is a powerful thing. It can keep us from every dream we have ever had or it can excel us beyond our wildest imaginations.

You hear about “hitting a wall” in a race, a workout or in life.

It is truly a wall or is it you?

Your mind gave up. The four words that are said to my children, my husband, or myself before any soccer game, dance class, swim meet, crossfit comp, or race is

STRONG MIND, STRONG BODY.

I hear people say, “I talked myself out of going to the gym today?” My response is always, “why didn’t you talk yourself into going to the gym today?” It seems so secure to take the easy road. Life is not easy, not if you want more out of it. Why are we stagnant? Excuse after excuse. Are you even mindful that you are making excuses, even sometimes lying about your answer of why you’re not going. Is that ok with you? You are in control of making you better, not someone else.

It’s a game! You play it with yourself constantly. Everyday probably, I do! For me, things are about numbers. I break it down. A workout, I play mind games with the clock. A run, one mile at a time, I usually find a subject matter to focus on the entire run. I do not use headphones while running outside. It is my time to reflect, pray, over think, and decompress. I talk to myself all the time. Don’t eat that! You don’t need that! You’ll regret that later! Walk Away! Yes, many times out loud so I look like a complete idiot to others. I don’t care, it works for me.

When we discuss how our mind works in health and fitness, it all comes down to one word, choices! You make them whether they are good, bad or ugly. You must own them. No one is forcing you to make mindless eating habits. No one is forcing you to make the right choice of going to the gym or for a walk or finding time for yourself.   YOU do this!

That person in the mirror is your enemy or your friend. It’s a choice.

I love to talk about how mindless we have become about food. My Whole30 group gets this speech a lot. The french fries you eat out of the bag before you hand to your child in the backseat is mindless. That ice cream you finish off because your child is about to throw his/her last few bites in the garbage is mindless. The candy jar that sits in your house as you grab a piece here and there is mindless. Eating the leftover crust from your child’s pizza or bread is mindless eating. You know you do it. It’s sad but true. I did it too.

How about in the gym? Your workout says 100 jump ropes and you stop at 93. Why? You swore you were going to do an hour of cardio and you get off the treadmill at 56 minutes. Why? You were so close, and you just stopped. Mindless! Because you thought it wouldn’t matter.

When your mind is right, your world will change.

I say be good, gracious and kind all the time. We have become so unmindful about others negativity or possibly our own. Most of the time, too many times. Negative words are so hurtful and there are “Negative Nelly’s” all over the place. If you chime in a positive comment in their negative ones, they will stop in their tracks. You will shock them. Take notice of conversations. As much as we think we know about a situation, you may truly have no idea what is going on in that person’s life. Be mindful of your positive influence on others. You will change a life.

“You cannot just exist in this life, you have got to try to live.” Steve Harvey

“You have got to identify your gift. Your gift will make room for you.” Steve Harvey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kILVFRlUtT8

A friend of mine challenged me to listen to this once a month. It has been a factor of goodness through my journey.   The first time it was a little hard to understand. The second time, I knew it was time to JUMP. Now, I just listen because I learn and grasp a little bit more of what he says.

“YOU HAVE TO JUMP” Steve Harvey

It took a long time for me to jump. My mind was weak. I never believed I could follow my passion, or leave the classroom. I never believed in myself like everyone else believed in me. It has not been easy but it has been worth it.   Excuse after excuse is all I had. I wear my cuts, scrapes, and bruises with pride. That parachute may or may not open but not knowing will not cause me not to jump.

Your mind can stop you. There is every excuse out there. I’ve used them, I know. Until that day that you decide to change your mind will you begin to see a change in your mirror.

From one classroom to another, I still teach. STRONG

 

Strong Relationships

As I sit down with a few notes and a blank page, I reflect on the word relationships. How do they work in my life? Whom do I have relationships with? Are they positive or negative? Who’s in my corner? Are they true? Do I trust them? Are they encouraging or do they sabotage? Who are the motivators in my achievements? When you search for those answers, the revelation could shock you. I am not afraid to say that I have few friends but the greatest friends I could ask for. I seek positivity within my environment. Sharing myself with others and being good, gracious, and kind are the monumental actions to divide with friends, family, and strangers.

Here is your question:

What do I do with those people that bring me down, belittle me, make me feel like I’m not worthy, destroy my dreams, constantly speak negative about others, weigh on my thoughts, etc.?

We all have those people. I have one word for you. Boundaries! It’s time to set them for yourself. For me, it was with a very close family member.   I found myself at a crossroad of being tired of trying to appease someone that is clearly struggling with something within herself. The hardest realization for me was I can’t help her. The straw that broke the camels back was the attack against my children and my husband. At that moment, I made a vow to never allow her to hurt me again. A quick deletion from all social media was my first move. She could only reach me by a phone call. At that point, I reserved the right to always say good-bye. We are at a better place, but it was boundaries that had to be established in order to get there. Never have I regretted this decision.

In the health and fitness industry, becoming a better you is the greatest place to be ridiculed. Life does not differ between skinny, fat, short, tall, athletic or the I don’t care personalities. Some people just don’t want you to succeed no matter if it’s weight loss, strength training, getting faster, eating right, living healthier, having more energy, or regaining control of your life.

WHY? WHY? WHY?

Here’s a story for you. The story of my life. I am at a birthday party with moms sitting around a table chatting. The mother of the birthday child walks up and asks “would anyone like cake?” She abruptly turns to me and says “I know you don’t want any!” GULP! How embarrassed was I? It is a very uncomfortable feeling to constantly be picked on for food choices. I get it everywhere I go. Here is the greatest thing. I love cake and I eat cake when I want it. I just didn’t want any cake that day. It is a great thing called food freedom. The book is fantastic. Melissa Hartwig writes Food Freedom Forever. I deal with these types of comments in every social situation. I handle it with a smile when I really want to be a crouching tiger and pounce on someone. That day may come, I’m just hopeful not.

Here’s one more while I’m at it. I went with a friend to a local school fundraising event. There was a fantastic buffet of green beans, brisket, mashed potatoes, salad, and bread pudding. I had a little of all of it. I sat down and I know at least 6 people asked “well what are you eating?” I was proud to say I tasted a little of everything. They were astonished. There were even those that put mashed potatoes in my face and asked if I’d like a bite. It made me happy to say “I had some but thank you.” That tiger stayed contained yet again.

These constant relationships could cause a major back slide on your climb to the top of your triangle. Think about how often people comment on those around that do not make healthy lifestyle choices as opposed to those that do. Can’t you hear them? Why isn’t she eating that? She is too thin, she can eat 2 cheeseburgers and not gain weight. She is missing out. Why doesn’t she just cheat or treat herself? She brings her own food everywhere she goes? This is my favorite… She doesn’t even have to work at it? WWWHHHHHAAAATTTTTT????? YES, I DO! That comes a little later in my blogs.

Do you ever hear someone say, “you should not eat that much?” I don’t hear anyone at Christmas dinner say, “you shouldn’t have that!”. I’ve never been a restaurant and someone order and I say “are you really going to eat that cheesy pasta or that bacon cheeseburger or dessert?” NO, but hell, what a shock to the person if someone did. Why? Because it’s not socially acceptable. Someone will get sued on that note. Someone will think you are better than them if the tables are turned. Why is it ok to pick on the little people?

I promise there is no size in life that makes one person better than another. We are all on equal ground. It is your relationship within yourself that puts the strain on how you view others. Love yourself first.

It is time to take a stand for what you want. Stop being scared to admit that you want more for your health, your family, and your love of life. Stop allowing people to run over you and cloud your path. I don’t care who it is, your mom, your sister, your husband, your kids, your coworkers, your best friend, or your significant other. It is time to put this in check.

I received this text message from a friend of mine not too long ago. It read.

Loved your Facebook post about size attacks. I couldn’t post there because I don’t want to publicly talk about my dear mother. I am far from a zero but I have been feeling the pressure from friends and family about food choices. My mother was always encouraging me to lose weight but now that I am working on it, they always make snide comments about me eating cauliflower in place of everything! So frustrating, they act like cauliflower is so odd, it is a vegetable, I don’t understand the big deal. Anyway, Thank you for the article.

That article was found on Facebook and called, You Attack My Size 0 But I Can’t Attack Your Size 16.

Commit to those who strengthen you. Surround yourself with positive people. Love and acknowledge those that pick you up at your low moments and high five you at your best. Be done with negative comments, with being mocked, and be STRONG with the person that should fulfill you, YOU!